Just Have a Little Patience

I really need to write something for the blog, I’ve been neglecting it.

That’s what I thought to myself this morning as I mused over which of the many ideas swimming through my mind would be tapped out on the keyboard.

Little did I realise that this mornings events would mean I could just re-post this blog post.

Seriously peeps, if someone is taking a while in a baby change facility there is a reason for it! This morning Elliott decided to do the mother of all wees at such force that his nappy leaked everywhere during Rattle and Rhyme at our local library. Elliott wasn’t so much shaking his sillies out, more peeing his milkies out! Unfortunately said wee was performed at such velocity that it seeped through his nappy, his trousers and mummy’s jeans – who knew such a thing as a weenami existed?!

Instead of grabbing some new books to read we headed straight to the nearest baby change where I proceeded to change his nappy, followed by his outfit. I was as speedy as I could be in such a situation which is why I found myself getting annoyed with the person the other side of the door who kept impatiently trying the door and who I heard muttering ‘they’ve been in there a while’. What the frick do you think I’m doing in here?!

When I exited it was an old dear with her grandchild and she kind of just went ‘Oh!’ in a way that I was pretty sure meant ‘I’ve just sent someone off to get a hammer to break the door down, but they don’t need to now.’ She tried to help me out of the door which was kind of her, but unfortunately had parked her own buggy so close to the door there was a severe clash of wheels!

I’m really getting fed up of the lack of nappy change support from fellow mummy’s and granny’s. In all other walks of parenthood there seems to be an ‘we’re all in it together’ attitude, but as soon as that baby change door is locked and closed the claws come out.

This leaves me in a predicament…

One option is to leave the door unlocked during the baby change so they can keep poking their noses in and seeing what stage I’m at (a bit like a real life Domino’s online order tracker). Perhaps they could give a running commentary as I go?

The other, which I am sorely tempted to do is to get these signs printed up and stick them to the outside of the door whenever I go in.


What do you reckon?


Baby Change B*tches


This incident took place yesterday (23rd November 2015) at the baby changing facilities near to the Halifax at the Merry Hill centre and if you are one of the people involved I hope you woke up to a vile poonami this morning! Karma is a b*tch, but so, it would seem, are you! 


I’m mid nappy change so ignore the impatient tapping on the door to the baby change facilities.



There they are again!

“I’m changing  a nappy!” I yell as loud at the top of my voice, incredulous that another parent doesn’t understand that sometimes these things take a little longer than anticipated!

The knocks subside. I continue with the nappy change.

A few minutes later…



And then a voice “Are you OK in there?”

“YES!” Me and my mother yell back. Elliott looking at our now angered faces with curiosity and me, being me, adding:


All this shouted through a locked door whilst I’m wiping poo off my babies bum and trying to get to grips with the, currently stiff, clips of the harness on his pushchair. Other than that I’m not being particularly slow considering I have a wiggly five month old in front of me who like to grab at his nappy and pull his legs up to his chest mid-change making it a challenge to get a nappy off or on. There are LOADS of other changing facilities in the centre, so I don’t see what the urgency for this particular room is. Would these women do the same if I was taking too long in a cubicle in the women’s toilets?

I was so, so angry. As it was, it was a fairly standard nappy change. But imagine if it had been a poonami requiring a total outfit change? Or perhaps my baby had been sick? Or, as if often the case with boys, weed everywhere? How did they know I wasn’t a brand new mum struggling with nappy changes, life with a baby and on the edge of tears (I did see a new mum burst into tears mid-nappy change in Mothercare once!). How did they know the child I was changing didn’t have special needs? What gave them the right to act in this way?

Sure, they were asking if I was ‘OK’ but they didn’t mean it. Perhaps the first time, but then to continue knocking after I had yelled at them, just shows that this was a thinly veiled ‘Hurry up!’. Seriously ladies. It’s hard being a mum and I thought we were supposed to support each other? Not put pressure on each other to complete a nappy change in record time?

Fortunately the baby blues have long departed for me. But if anyone tries to stand in the way of my babies happiness and comfort – WATCH OUT! Me and mom both wondered aloud if it would be inappropriate to smear Elliott’s dirty nappy in the faces of the waiting women custard pie style.

As we exited, the woman standing there was all smiles.

“I didn’t know there was time limit.” I scowled.

“Well there was a queue” she said, smiling again all sweetness – to be fair it might not have been her who knocked.

“Right” I concluded before heading off.

Did they ever think there was a queue because everyone got there at the same time? Sit in a Starbucks for long enough and you will often see the place go from no queue to out of the door and back to ghost town empty in the space of half-an-hour. Sometimes people just arrive to the same place at the same time.

To be honest, even if the queue was caused by my slow nappy changing skills I don’t really care. I just worry that Elliott will grow up with the babies of these impolite mothers.

Anyone else experienced anything like this?