I’ve been tremendously tardy with my diary entries of late, but I’ve needed to take some time to get myself back on track. Over the past couple of weeks I’ve felt extremely anxious and I’ve not been certain why. Certainly having an unpredictable toddler in tow doesn’t help but it was more than that. I hate it when I feel anxious and I can’t pinpoint what’s causing it. If I know what it is I can rationalise it and either make it go away, or use the adrenaline in a productive way. When I don’t know what it is. I can’t do that. I think a lot of it was just a feeling of being overwhelmed, so I stripped everything way back and just caught up on things gradually. Now, things are more organised and I have a (BETA) plan in place I feel a lot more calm.
Today Elliott and I went to visit an old school friend of mine who has just had her second baby. I was excited to see my friend as I love our catch ups, having known each other for so long means we’re always pretty honest and open with each other, which is lovely. I was also super-excited to meet her new baby and really intrigued to see how Elliott would be around a little one.
Her baby is, of course, completely adorable and so bloomin’ light. After lugging around a heavy toddler for so long I’d forgotten that newborns are featherweight in comparison. Elliott was pretty cool about the whole thing. He didn’t freak out when I had a little hold of the baby, although did look a little confused and I made sure I gave him lots of cuddles afterwards. When she was in her swing he casually looked over, waved, and said ‘Hi Baby’. Bless him. My friend is doing amazingly well and looks so content. No mean feat with a toddler and a new baby in tow. We had lunch together. Elliott was excited but well behaved and then we headed to the park. It was a chilled out day but really, really nice. We talked maternity leave, breastfeeding, birth stories and everything inbetween. More days like that please.