working mum

I survived the back to work blues

Today was my first official day back in the office since June 2015. Sure, I’ve completed the odd ‘keeping in touch’ day but they were always conducted in the safe knowledge that little one was at home playing with daddy and I would soon be back with him to spend the rest of the week cleaning his mucky face, taking him to the park to play on the swings and singing Old MacDonald a hundred times over. This time it’s different. This time my Monday to Friday is Tuesday to Thursday meaning I still get to spend some serious quality time with Elliott at the (supremely extended) weekends. And, rather than Elliott causing mischief with daddy, he now goes to nursery. There were tears and snotty sobs when I dropped him off again this morning but I perservered and made my way to work trying to convince myself that he would be fine. He pretty much was, give or take a few emotional moments.

Work in itself was OK. Things were broken and had disappeared from my desk so I spent most of the day trying to make myself feel at home again, sadly I’m still only half-way there and even more sadly I’m worried that my work will be largely undone when I’m out of the office on Monday’s and Friday’s – ah the joys of working with so many men (I realise that’s incredibly sexist, but this group of guys do fit the coffee pilfering stereotype a little too well – I say that, we have new members to the team so times could have changed. Could.).

Things didn’t really get going for me today. I really wanted something juicy to get my teeth stuck into, but it didn’t really happen. I’m hoping tomorrow is more action packed. I’m so used to being rushed off my feet at home that anything less than 60mph feels like snails pace. I know I should take advantage of the rest and I did. I drank a cup of tea and a cup of coffee – both whilst still hot. I ate biscuits without having to share them and lunch without someone eyeing me suspiciously to see if I have the same as them. I even managed to go for a wee when I wanted and without someone staring at me and laughing whilst I went!

There was some grown-up conversation, but I have to admit after a year out of the workforce and spending most of my time socialising with fellow mummies during that year I’m a bit rusty on the ‘conversation about anything other than babies’ front.

Tonight I feel a bit flat. I’m not sure what I was expecting? A royal fanfare and a pile of work when I arrived in the office. That my workplace would have actually been transformed into the Conde Nast offices complete with glamour and on-site coffee shop. Obviously neither happened. But nothing really bad happened either, it literally just happened. There was me worried I was missing out on something during my maternity leave. Turns out repeatedly cooking, feeding and washing-up is akin to repeatedly replying to e-mails, phoning people and kicking the photocopier. Sometimes life isn’t about the highs or the lows, it’s just enjoying the everyday. Saying that, I’d still quite like a juicy project please Mr Boss Man.



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