I am officially a mummy mess

There she was casually, yet purposefully, strolling through Merry Hill, all pert bum and flat stomach. She was wearing tight white jeans (a la Liz Hurley) with stiletto shoes. Her hair perfectly blow dried, her nails beautifully manicured, her barely there make-up giving her skin a natural glow. She held her mobile phone in one hand whilst carefully pushing her buggy through the mall, a neat little change bag dangling from the handles.*

I hated her.

And even worse I hated me.

img_3103_2_16907243232_oStylish preggo!

I hated the fact that I was wearing Ugg boots, not because it was cold, but simply because they were the easiest thing to pull on before I left the house. I hated the fact that I was still wearing the leggings I had purchased during pregnancy in case my jeans dug in whilst I was playing with Elliott on the floor. I hated the fact that I was wearing a smock – again purchased when I was pregnant – which looked gorgeous with a bump and big boobs, but now looked lack lustre and drab.

21848840674_de0943c15e_oNot looking too shabby, although nowhere near as stylish as Elliott! 

BB cream barely covered my knackered skin and I hadn’t even bothered to apply eye make-up. I’d given up on my contacts and was wearing my, now dated, glasses and I think my hair was pulled back in an unflattering pony tail – I can’t even remember. The buggy looked good and I was holding my mobile in one hand (a la stylish mumma (see above)) but our change bag was fit to bursting – not such a stylish look!

dscn6595_15925774380_oMe all dressed up with some place to go (pre-baby)

I’ve never been massively stylish, I’ll admit, and I do think having fun with Elliott is far more important than spending hours on my appearance. I also think there’s got to be an element of practicality to the way you dress when you’re a mum. And then there’s the fact that you have to learn to shower, dry your hair (if your baby isn’t having a random ‘let’s be scared of the hairdryer’ kind of day), dress and do your make up in oh about 10 minutes ideally! But all those things aside I really do feel as though I’ve – ugh – let myself go.

photo-on-28-07-2015-at-1131_21470262296_oWet, messy, damaged hair – do care!

The trouble is I don’t know where to start to get myself back. My hair is in poor condition from being scrapped back in a pony tail when it was still wet during the first few frantic weeks of having a new baby and, to be fair, I was never that enamoured with the cut I had pre-birth anyway. It’s also at that awkward length where it sticks in the collar of your clothes and annoys the crap out of you. It’s dry one minute and greasy the next and, now that the post-pregnancy malting has started, incredibly thin. Don’t even get me started on the greys…

20828941999_3463451c17_oMy face says happy; my skin says blah!

Facially my skin is in no man’s land. Pregnancy hormones suited me and my skin literally bloomed. Post pregnancy I went through an incredibly dry period (unheard of for my oil slick skin) and now it just doesn’t know what to be – dull, dehydrated and saggy mostly. If the bags under my eyes get any bigger I won’t need to take a suitcase on next year’s holiday and can use my jowls for my carry on…

img_2962_16135522982_oMy skin dramatically cleared up during pregnancy that was one of the ways I knew I was ‘with child’. 

Body-wise I’ve slimmed down but my figure is nowhere near what it was before. My boobs – never the biggest to begin with – now resemble sad deflated balloons. My stomach looks flat from some angles and podgy from others. My thighs and bum are bigger (which I don’t mind) but also droopy (which I do mind). The skin on my body is angry and irritated.

21823070484_c141e63cd6_oA rare OOTD for Instagram. I think Elliott thought I was a big sensory toy and it has to be said his outfit is 100 times better than mine! 

My nails are short at most, painted if I’m lucky. My nail polish has actually worn off my fingernails at the moment rather than chipped – that’s a new one on me!

My eyebrows and general monkey hair maintenance has gone out of the window – resulting in emergency pre yoga armpit shaves.

As for my clothes. Practicality is the name of the game and so it should be to some extent. I don’t want to be one of those mum’s who can’t run after their child because I’m wearing inappropriate footwear, but – even though it wasn’t massively glamorous – my old wardrobe doesn’t seem to fit in with my current lifestyle. My maternity wardrobe is closer but my body is obviously lacking the curves needed to make it work.

So there we go… I feel like a bit of a mess and I desperately want to do something about it. Where do I begin people, where???

*Bet no one wants to talk to her at baby groups mind you!


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